jOuRNaL oF niC

To live the fullness of live

Monday, February 27, 2012

The imperfect me loved by His prefect love


Bra-ra shi .....(Speak in tongue)..Nichole, the Lord said there are things deep in your heart that you yet to surrender to Him. Area that you do not allow Him to take care. I pray the Lord presence anointing in your life. Even you reject Him, the Lord said He still love you. .... This is the way He show His love to you. Stop to prove your ability, stop to be someone you are not, stop to revenge, stop struggling with yourself...surrender to Him, depend on Him and He will take care of it...

A pastor merely knows my name told me these during an altar call. Un-intentionally I was drag by a sister to  the altar call. That Sunday service my heart was numbed. I don't really feel the presence of Lord during praise and worship. Even so, He assured with me about His presence and love. 

Lord, thanks for loving me. I know you long to confirm with me about this love. I know it is You because only You know what I had been gone through. I wish I could surrender. I wish I can be like Nikki. I know you love me but I just could't control myself. Maybe I don't really understand/know about Your love enough. Lord, teach me. I want to live a life that acknowledge about Your love, a life that having an intimate relationship with You, a life that I can assure all my burdens & treasure unto Your hand, a life that hunger about Your words every second. 

Lord, I really don't know how to have a life like this. No one able to tell me how to do it. Only You, Lord. Show me Lord.

Lord, thank you for telling me that You still love me even though I fail.

Monday, February 6, 2012

The unknown feeling


Does she really recover from the injury or actually too numb with pain to cry out?
It has been kind of long time she never cry though she still feeling something.
The unknown feeling.
It seem like this feeling will follow her forever.

That injure has change her character.
No one knows the reason of the changes besides God and herself.
Thinking the change would make her stronger.
Does it really work?

Has she lost her DNA?
Or maybe she is just good in acting.
Just maybe..