still got to encounter..

This evening I speed in highway due to the late and un-organize time management.. For so long i dint speed in highway..normally i just drive 100km/h..hee..this evening increase to 130km/h..in fact i never drive as fast as this evening..thank God, still safety reach campus..hee..sometime it is feel good to speed,the feeling of free..challenge...i know that is a wrong thing to do as a christian..but..can i just dont care?!...Manage to attend the committee meeting..dint talk much during meeting..wanna bring out some issue, but i guess it is too sensitive to touch it..so i juz keep quite. After meeting i was so lost and down..Like burnt out, no spirit to any CF activities or plan. Just wanna be alone and away from any commiment that i have made to God. Recently too much social with ppl until i dont have my own private time. In the beginning, i choose to have this kind of life coz i really scare to be alone. When alone, i have to encounter some problem which will made me down and discourage..so, i try to forget about it by busyness, keep on telling lame joke with friend and laugh at it. It works,but just for a while..Dad, can i just skips these? Haiz..really need a reflection..

Encouragement from my heavenly dad..

Last nite i was cried to God for tiredness and worry. So worried to mummy and study. Nothing that i can help or do with mummy condition. Really dont have my own time to do the revision for my study as i hv serve in CF. There are so many commitment that i have make to God and myself in serving during holiday..This morning God comfort me by His word. He speak to me during my quite time. It was so amazed. Thank you Lord. I got the message and may i will choose the right way to go through these trial. Help me to walk throught these in victory and may these trial will make me better in my life. Lord, may my life will give glory to Your name. Help me to know who are You..the maker of heaven and the earth. Help me to know that You will watch over me and still care about my life. May i will rejoice in Your name,love and mercy even in these trial. Help me to grab the word of You so that i can go on my life with joy and love. Once again, thank for the encouragement, comfort and hope. Lord, You are my all in all.

Discouraging..

Discouraging..alot ppl told me that they cant cant join both fellowship because they are too tired and have no time for it. But what i saw was not, they would rather spend their time for drama than attend the fellowship. Seriously, me too will feel tired  to join both..maybe in their eyes, i'm super active,that will never feel tired for it..so sad when some of both felloswship commttee dint take out the step to understand each other. Some of them even look down and criticize the other fellowship with me. It really make me feel that they are not belong to Him, but belong to fellowship thought they said they are. Haiz..dont care la..i juz do my part..just focus to be a good example in my coursemate...but i now start to doubt that whether join da juan camp, since me too will tired and have no time. And in some people eyes, i belong to CF..

Exasperated by a brother...

This evening i angry with Hendrix due to his altitude. He and Jacob sudden came in my room and talked like a gangster. Due to his decision without inform us, each of us have to paid fifty two bucks. And now he came to my room and point the mistake to me and yeeting. I never met a friend like that. I dont mind to pay the amount but i really cant stand the way he talk to me. Few times i tried to smile with him when we saw each other ath school, sms him like i treat other coursemate and friends. But today onwards i wont do it again. This is my first time i so angry with a friend till i delete his contact number in my handset. After he left my house Jacob ask me not to angry and not to tell yeeting all about the conversation content between Hendrix and mine. I knew it was a wise way to do so in order to reduce their anger to each other. It was so hard for me not to said a single negative word of Hendrix. Because as i talk about hendrix's message with yeeting, it remind me his childish act. However after an hour i manage to calm down myself by a call from my mum. During the convesation with mum, something wake me up that why should i angry with this man? He is not worthy and not important in my live. He is not my family member and why should i angry and felt sad. I decided not to talk and forget this person. Next time as we see each other, he will be a stranger to me.
Sorry Lord.

Friend vs Sister

This morning back to Pabit Buntar. One word to describe - Hot. After finish cleaning and bath, i took a siesta. Initially plan to sleep 15minutes but i slept more than 2hours. Weather here is pretty hot that why i had a nightmare. In the dream i'm a hot tempered girl. Just because some certain reason, i broke two person spectacle purposely. But the funny part is i apologize to them and promise to remedy after done all eveil things. I was so regret and the first thing i did was sms Lia. I thought i can drop down all my feeling in the blog and need not share with another person. Haiz..maybe i still need a person. Just now Aaron came to my house to get Derrick thing. Even though Derrick havent back to campus but still have someone to help him willingly. Is like a family or brother that help each other. That feeling is different if Aaron is just Derrick friend. As i saw it, i was so touch and so miss that feeling. Last time i too have a sister wor. After came back, i found out is so hard to find a same gender friend here that i can talk to. So miss her, a least last time i still can find her for dinner, hang out. But now, like this evening really cant find someone(same gender) for dinner. Anyway this sem plan to pay more attention in study and caring. So busy..maybe dont have time for a friend too. Szelyn..Aza aza flighting!